A Tale of Two Kiddies

My preschool rant

It all started last winter when a friend casually mentioned that she was applying to 12 (YES, 12!) preschools for her twin girls. I seriously freaked out. She had a list already in place, had done all her research and I hadn't even considered preschools yet. So, I hopped on the bandwagon, started researching schools and went to some open houses.

At the time I wasn’t even sure A&M needed to go to preschool, but there I was with the rest of the crazies moms standing in line after the open house to ask questions like “What is your policy with twins?” and “Is this a feeder school for Tiny Tot Prep?” OK, I didn’t really ask the 2nd question, but during this time the sound of my own voice started to irritate ME. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without wanting to puke.

In my area, most preschools choose classes by lottery and the ones that don't, with names like Country Day and the like, aren't exactly my cuppa’ tea. No chance was I putting on make-up and sitting around with a bunch of other parents being “interviewed” so my kids could be chosen to go to preschool. I paid the $30-$80 per registration and applied to four schools and waited and waited and started asking those annoying questions of friends, "Have you heard from ABC Preschool?" “Oh, Joey got in? Lucky you!”

Then the waitlist notices started coming in: #16 & 17 (dreadful), #148 & 149 (oh, c'mon), and then there were the schools that didn’t bother to respond, but took my $80 anyways. Thank you very much! I felt like we had been rejected, like my children had been shunned. The truth is, it's a lottery so I know I'm being a bit ridiculous.

As my one friend said when she got her daughter’s acceptance letter, "I feel like Susie just got into Harvard!" And I feel like my kids got the thin letter saying “Thank you for applying, but we’re sorry to say you didn’t make the cut.”

I'm really sad that I let myself get so worked up over this. That I actually care, but I do. I can't help it. I need the break from them, they need the break from me, and school is supposed to be good for you, isn't it?

I know it's not the end of the world. I'm sure they'll go to college even if they don't get into preschool. Right?

The part that annoys me the most about the whole thing is that I bought into the game and got all hung up on preschool. PRESCHOOL?! How pathetic.

Do tell, are your kids going to preschool this year?

Diarrhea and other fun things

WARNING: Gross-out post.

There are some things I really freakin' hate about being a mom and I'm not afraid to say it. My top 3 in order are:

1. DIARRHEA
2. VOMIT
3. DIARRHEA

I can put diarrhea twice, I have twins.

That shit is nasty and we've been up to our eyeballs (and sometimes down to our toes) in it. It started with Alex last Thursday. By Friday we added vomit to the mix. And by Sunday he was blowing out diapers on a regular basis. I knew it was bad when he stood up in his highchair and proclaimed that he had peed when in fact it was poo running down his leg. GROSS!

And then Mia started with the shits on Saturday and it was doubly good times in our house. Laundry, sheet changing, changing 20 diapers in a day when we usually go through 10 or less. Like I said, GOOD TIMES.

Today was definitely a good day. One solid poo from Mia, no poos at all from Alex. I guess he was pooped out. Oh, do I crack myself up. ahhahahahaha!

A Plug for Crib Tents

For about two weeks our house has been in total chaos. It started with Mia. That adventurous, little bug figured out how to climb over the top of her crib and propel herself into her brother's crib like a rocketship. The first time she did it we found them both quietly sleeping TOGETHER 3 hours after we put them to bed apart. See the proof.

I know this seems cute and all and Brian and I spent that night staring in awe at our beautiful, sweet, little creations. Then the REAL climbing began.

First 10x each a night, then 20x, then 30x...EACH. Plus, they were waking at the crack of dawn and tearing through their room -- the drawers, the closet and anything else that was not nailed down. And then there was the ranting and raving and kicking and screaming and crying. Mine, not theirs. Obviously, my tactics were not working. For me, it was truly the worst 2 weeks of their life since the first 6 months had passed us by. Who said it gets easier?? I was so stressed out and anxious, worried for their safety, and about to ask my doctor for that Paxil prescription she kept trying to push on me.

I asked advice from friends and got an earful. "Put them in toddler beds!" "Forget the toddler beds, just go to crib mattresses on the floor." "Skip all that and put them in twin beds." "Pad their room and create a jail cell." All of this seemed a little drastic or too premature. I was not ready for my 27 month olds to be tearing up their rooms or worse, the house.

And then there was that camp that suggested crib tents. I didn't want to use them, quite frankly. I was afraid it would stifle their independence, cage them in, scare them, make them hate the beds they love. And then there was that day with no naps and the previous night of climbing 30x EACH and I was exhausted and they were exhausted and I said, "THAT'S IT!" (Anybody's kids read The Pigeon and the Hot Dog?)

Off we went to the big baby store and within 2 hours those crib tents were up and ready to be tested. When Brian got home he said, "WOW, it must have been REALLY bad for you to do that on your own!"

That night was a little bumpy with them crying and me wondering if I had made a terrible mistake. But the next day was better and the next even more so. And then a wonderful thing happened. Alex started ASKING to be zipped up ("zip up, Mommy!). Mia still doesn't like to be zipped at night so we leave her tent open and she doesn't climb. At our bedtime we zip hers and voila, my good sleepers and late wakers are back.

So, if you're considering a crib tent, but aren't sure I'm here to tell you that they are well worth the investment. For their safety and, most importantly, for your sanity.

100 Things About A&M

I was reading some blogs and saw all these "100 Things About Me" and thought it would be fun to do a variation of this about A&M.  Obviously these will change a lot over the months/years, so it will be fun to update it.

1. A&M were conceived in a petri dish.
2. Their due date was 6/21/04.
3. They were born 5/07/04 at 33w5d.
4. Alex is 2 minutes older than Mia.
5. Alex weighed 4lbs.5oz. and was hogging all the nutrients. 
6. Mia only     weighed 3lbs.5oz.
7. Alex spent 3 weeks in the NICU.
8. Mia spent 5 weeks in the NICU.
9. When they came home I cried and wondered WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO?
10. Alex rolled over at 2 months old or 2 weeks adjusted age.  Smart boy!
11. Mia had reflux and took Zantac until 9 months old.
10. Alex used to be easily startled, which makes Mia laugh.
12. I would prefer to dress Mia in purple (b/c I love purple), but she looks better in pink.
13. They both have the clearest blue eyes I have ever seen.
14. People ask me ALL THE TIME if they are identical.  My response: "Nope, he has a penis!"  Then half the people argue with me that they are still identical.
15. People assume Alex is a girl because he has long hair.
16. They used to love veggies and avocado, now they don't. :(
17. They don't like much of anything, but raisins and cookies.
18. Mia tried to crawl at 8 1/2 months.
19. Succeeded on all fours at 10 months.
20. Alex was two weeks behind.
21. Mia walked around 14 months.
22. Alex was a month behind.
23. Alex ran and jumped first.
24. They are big talkers, but we don't always understand their words.
25. Both of them know many signs to communicate with us.
26. Their first sign was ALL DONE.
27. Their favorite sign is MORE.
28. Mia is the boss of Alex.
29. Alex lets her be the boss.
30. Mia is a biter, which is why she is the boss of Alex.
31. Alex never got the hang of biting since he didn't get his first tooth until he turned 1.
32. Alex likes to hit.
33. Mia loves to read.
34. Alex loves to push around the baby stroller.
35. Mia loves this, as well, especially when she can steal the stroller from Alex.
36. Neither of them are very interested in the baby doll that goes with the stroller.They LOVE their babydolls.
37. But they prefer real babies.
38. They will probably never get a real baby brother or sister.
39. Alex loves to play with sticks and rocks and bugs.
40. Mia loves the sliding board and swing at the park.
41. One of their first words was "outside."
42. After they said "duck."
43. Mia talks a lot now (and to think I was worried).
44. Alex started out talking to his hand.
45. He still talks to himself a lot.
46. Mia loves cats.
47. Alex loves dogs, until they bark.
48. They both love airplanes.
49. They've never flown on an airplane.
50. They like to hide their shoes (behind the library chair).
51. Sometimes they hide them so well I can't find them.
52. Mia wears a half size bigger shoe than Alex.
53. At 2 she weighed 2.5lbs. more than him.
54. He was an inch taller.
55. He's so skinny his pants fall down 1/2 the time.
56. They both have teddy bear blankets that they sleep with.
57. Alex sucks his thumb.
58. Mia used to have a more difficult time soothing herself to sleep.
59. Mia needs less sleep than Alex.
60. They both sleep 10+ hours a night.
61. They nap 2-3 hours a day.
62. Mia sleeps like her father...an earthquake wouldn't wake her once she falls asleep.
63. They like to give each other hugs and kisses when they're not fighting.
64. They hold hands and sing the "I Love You" Barney song.
65. They refer to Barney as Bar-Bar.
66. They didn't watch TV at all until they were 22 months old.
67. Now they would watch it 24/7 if we let them.
68. They LOVE Elmo, but not too much else on Sesame Street.
69. They knew all the characters on the show before they ever saw it from their diapers (Pampers).
70. Alex is now a bigger talker than Mia.
71. Mia is in speech therapy.
72. At 26 months they figured out how to climb out of their cribs.
73. Mia learned first and we found them asleep together in Alex's crib.
74. When they both started doing it 25+ times a night I bought crib tents.
75. Mia won't go to bed with the tent zipped, so we wait until she's asleep and then zip it.
76. She doesn't climb out anymore.
77. Alex likes to kiss our eyes, ears, nose and mouth when he says "Night, night!"
78. Mia gives eskimo kisses at bedtime.
79. They use several stalling tactics to avoid bedtime: more wa-wa, cuh-yahs (covers), baby, teddy (both of which have been thrown out of the crib), turning off the aquarium while we watch and then saying "Uh oh!" as if it is broken.
80. They love the water -- bathtime, pools, sprinklers.
81. Alex loves the ocean.
82. Amelia is scared of the ocean...
83. and the dark.
84. Alex loves to pick up live bugs and give them to mommy.
85. Alex likes to collect and hoard things.
86. Mia sometimes joins him, but most of the time prefers to run around.
87. Both of them LOVE play doh (doh, mommy, doh!)
88. Their favorite books are currently If You Take a Mouse to School and Catch Me! Catch Me! (a Thomas the Tank Engine book).
89. Daddy is currently #1 in our house.
90. Alex loves to count, but only to 2! (1-2, 1-2, 1-2)
91. They both love to sing, especially Mr. Derby's "Hop-Hop Song" or "Hello, Everybody" from Music Together.
92. They are not going to preschool next year.
93. They hit the terrible twos at about 26 months.
94. They are still REALLY good and funny and sweet.
95. Alex shares more than Mia.
96. Mia snuggles more than Alex.
97. They both love each other and say it daily.
98. A-yah and Ya-Ya (now Mi-A!) are their nicknames for each other.
99. People now ask me if she is older because she is bigger.
100. Alex and Mia are growing up TOO FAST.

Dear Alex and Mia

Dear Alex and Mia,

This weekend you turned one and momma's heart broke just a little.  It is hard to believe that a little over a year ago you weren't a part of our lives because I can't remember life without you.  This year went by so fast that your first birthday snuck up on me.  I am blown away that you are already ONE. 

I am not going to lie to you, this was a tough year for Mommy and Daddy.  The first 5 weeks we spent visiting you in the hospital.  It was difficult to bond with you when you were covered in wires and hooked to beeping machines.  And then you came home and it felt like I was treading water in mud.  The first 3 months were the most tiring, scary and hectic of my life.  Was I doing the right things to nurture you?  Were you getting enough to eat?  Were you each getting enough one-on-one time?  A lot of questions and no time to answer them.  We went from feeding to diaper change to naps and then started the entire thing over again several times a day.  I often wondered if I was really cut out to be a mother.  And then...

You smiled.

You giggled.

You snuggled your heads on my shoulder.

You reached your arms out for ME.

You cried when I left your side.

And my heart felt so full I couldn't imagine loving you any more.

As the months went by things got a bit easier, though easy is not a word I would use to describe life with twins.  We got on a great schedule, you became EXCELLENT sleepers and eaters, and mommy finally slept for more than 3 hours in a stretch.  I will NEVER forget the morning I woke up and looked at Daddy and said, "I think they slept through the night.  I can't remember waking up!" 

Now you are changing almost daily.  I am in awe as I watch you discover new things, including each other.  One day I was in the kitchen making lunch and all of a sudden I heard both of you giggling away.  I peeked into the playroom and you were both rustling a magazine and cackling.  It is such a joy to watch you, a brother and a sister, develop your bond.  I think a lot about your future, but mostly I hope and pray that you will always love each other and make each other laugh as you do right now.

Alex -- for the first four months of your life you NEVER smiled.  I kept asking the doctor what was wrong.  I was so sad about it.  You were skittish and the slightest thing could cause your lip to pout and the tears to flow.  You have transformed into the silliest little boy EVER.  Daddy gets you started and you can't stop laughing.  We make faces and noises and you smile the brightest toothless grin.  You love the MOOOOOOOOOOO a cow makes, you race across the floor whenever daddy chases you, you love to bounce -- especially with Daddy and Grandpa.  You are a joy to watch every day and are changing so rapidly that I have to remind myself to take mental snapshots every day so I can remember these moments.  Today you started talking to your hand and it was the cutest thing I had ever seen.  You are momma's little boy and always will be, even when you're 30.  G*d help your girlfriends!

Mia - for the first six months you were our easy baby.  You rarely cried, smiled a lot, and giggled early and often.  As you began to discover new things and your world got larger, you became quite a handful.  You are the most inquisitive child.  You love to stare at people (especially strangers), you've never met a mirror you didn't love and your curiosity is a joy to watch.  You laugh loud and cry louder.  You want the world to know you're here and make that message known loud and clear.  You weren't a big talker, but did a lot of squealing and growling for the first 11 months.  Momma was concerned, so she called the doctor who told me to try not to worry.  She was right.  You started to babble and now you rarely shut up.  Hearing you say ma-ma-ma-ma-ma was an amazing joy and you even did it for the first time on Mother's Day.

I am the luckiest Mommy in the world.  You two are the most beautiful, curious, playful, healthy and easy children.  A part of me is sad that the year is over, but the amazing experiences yet to come make me the happiest Mommy in the world.  I am so lucky.

I love you,
Mommy

Should I Be Worried...

...that Alex's current favorite toy is my birth control package?  You know the round, plastic container that can't be mistaken?  Well, it just so happens that they make great teething rings.

And just so my one or two readers don't worry, I DID remove the pills.

We have teeth...finally!

I was beginning to think baby dentures were in our future.  At 11.5 months Mia had only two teeth and Alex had none.  This did not stop them from gumming  any food I put in front of them.  They are my husband's children, afterall.

This week has been pure hell for all of us.  They are cranky and out of sorts by night, I am cranky and out of sorts by day.  You get the idea!

Collectively they are cutting 8 teeth, all on top.  Amelia has cut 3 of 4 teeth, Alex has cut 2 of 4, which means that the hellish nights are not going to be over anytime soon.

On the up-side, at least they are cutting these teeth at the same time.  Poor babies!

She speaks!

Mia growls, grunts and squeals, but up until recently she didn't really "speak."  Over the past 11 months we've heard lots of grrrrrrrrrrssssssss, uh-uh-uhhhhhhhhhs and AAAAAA-EEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYS, but not a lot of babbling of consonants.

Being a first-time mom, I started to grow worried when I read ON THE INTERNET (why do I do that?) that 75% of babies are babbling consonants by 10 months.  So, I did what any first-time mom would do and called the pediatrician.  I tried to sound all casual about it, starting out by saying, "OK, I know she's going to talk by the time she goes to college, but..."  Being the great pediatrician that she is, she assured me that Mia is still well within the NORMAL range.  I know she's normal, but it is still nice to hear.  We agreed that if by 1 year she wasn't babbling consonants we would get a referral to a speech therapist.

Looks like we won't need that referral after all.  This weekend, not only did Mia speak, but now she WON'T SHUT UP.  All of a sudden she is all "bwa-bwa-bwaaaaaaaaa!" and "ba-ba-ba!" and "bla-bla-bla!" 

When she starts talking back I'm sure I'll wish she never started talking in the first place, but for now this is the milestone I've been the most excited about.

All we want for Christmas is our two front teeth

Today was Sascha and Mia's first trip to meet Santa Claus. Turns out jolly ol' St. Nick was not so jolly. He kept true to his character and "went straight to work" but he was not jolly or lively and he never once uttered ho, ho, ho! I got a small chuckle out of him when I said, "Tell Santa that all you want for Christmas is your two front teeth!"

I'll consider this outing a success because neither baby cried, but c'mon Santa can we at least get a HO, HO, HO?!

The Poop Scoop

The Poop Scoop

It should come as no shock to any of you (OK, the 2 or 3 of you that are actually reading this) that I am obsessed with my kids’ poop.  The name of my blog says it all.

If you’re a mom, admit it…you, too, are obsessed with your child’s poop.  You do the “poop sniff”* and inspect each diaper with disgust and intrigue. 

Early on, the twins never pooped.  Not NEVER, but it may as well have been.  I worried and worried.  We tried prune juice and karo syrup and all the other home remedies the doctors recommend.  But still no poop.  And THEN the doctor told us it was normal for them not to poop.  What?!

It was when we started Sascha and Mia on solid foods that the two shitters found their once-a-day groove.  And much to my shock and delight, sometimes they even go TWICE a day. 

*Refers to the action of lifting your child up and trying to smell said child inconspicuously to see if he/she is the cause of the horrid smell.