A Tale of Two Kiddies

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions

But if I did believe in New Years’ Resolutions, this is what my Top Ten list would look like.

10) Get a healthier diet. HA! I’m already working on this one as we have an appointment with a nutritionist in mid-January.
9) Get rid of the 15 baby pounds that were supposed to vanish as I breastfed for 7 FUCKING MONTHS.
8) Get back into my exercise routine, including yoga, which I miss desperately. I don’t miss the gym, but it’s a necessary evil.
7) Get away WITHOUT the twins and WITH my hubby.
6) Get away WITHOUT the twins and WITHOUT the hubby.
5) Get some more patience.
4) Get organized as I am a clutter-bug, car key-losing, pile-making SLOB.
3) Get back to work and actually make some $$ selling some freakin’ houses in the BEST real estate market in the free world.
2) Get laid more often*. My hubby IS a saint, even if he doesn’t believe in saints.
1) Get a life and stop making New Years’ Resolutions.

*This one won’t be that difficult, considering last year we only did it 5 times. Yes, 5 times! Why, you ask? Well, because I am a beeyotch and I had the pregnancy from hell.

The in-laws...all of them

I wish I could regale you with hilarious tales of my father-in-law, step mother-in-law and mother-in-law all being in the same room. The tension, the nasty stares, the fighting over the babes, but it was not to be.

With grandbabies to hold, my husband’s divorced parents decided that they all needed to descend upon Washington to celebrate Sascha and Mia’s 1st Christmas. Mind you, the twins are only 7 months old and have no idea what Christmas is all about, but that was of no importance to the grandparents.

A little background, the in-laws divorced back before cable TV and it was a nasty one. They made nice at our wedding back in 2000 and have even broken bread at Thanksgiving once or twice since then, but Christmas is a whole different thing. There’s gift-giving and one-upping to be had by all.

It was not to be…

We all got sick at Christmas with the shits and barfs, so mother-in-law stayed away. It was an awful 3-day sickness that paralyzed hubby and me when we weren’t racing each other to the bathroom.

So, no good stories from Christmas. Maybe next year?!

Without my usual holiday cheer

I love the holidays. I am one of those people that starts listening to Christmas music the minute Santa’s sleigh makes its appearance in the Macy’s Day Parade. I decorate my house inside and out…EVERY room, including the bathrooms. I make my husband wrap the lights tediously around EVERY branch of our Christmas tree so it appears to be twinkling. He hates this, but he does it because he knows how happy it makes me. He’s a good man.

This year started off as no exception. Christmas music playing non-stop starting on November 24th…check. Christmas tree that would make Clark Griswold shed a tear…check. And then I started to go about the rest of my usual decorating habits when I decided it was just too much trouble this year, what with two VERY needy babies breathing down my neck, crying the minute I left the room, wanting to be held, rocked, sung to, tickled, anything to keep them happy. It was just too much trouble. BAH-HUMBUG!

Our tree came down on New Years’ Day and I have to tell you I was thrilled to box up all the decorations and bury them in the attic until next year. Maybe by then I will have the energy to bedeck the house in its usual holiday cheer.