Dear Alex and Mia,
This weekend you turned one and momma's heart broke just a little. It is hard to believe that a little over a year ago you weren't a part of our lives because I can't remember life without you. This year went by so fast that your first birthday snuck up on me. I am blown away that you are already ONE.
I am not going to lie to you, this was a tough year for Mommy and Daddy. The first 5 weeks we spent visiting you in the hospital. It was difficult to bond with you when you were covered in wires and hooked to beeping machines. And then you came home and it felt like I was treading water in mud. The first 3 months were the most tiring, scary and hectic of my life. Was I doing the right things to nurture you? Were you getting enough to eat? Were you each getting enough one-on-one time? A lot of questions and no time to answer them. We went from feeding to diaper change to naps and then started the entire thing over again several times a day. I often wondered if I was really cut out to be a mother. And then...
You snuggled your heads on my shoulder.
You reached your arms out for ME.
You cried when I left your side.
And my heart felt so full I couldn't imagine loving you any more.
As the months went by things got a bit easier, though easy is not a word I would use to describe life with twins. We got on a great schedule, you became EXCELLENT sleepers and eaters, and mommy finally slept for more than 3 hours in a stretch. I will NEVER forget the morning I woke up and looked at Daddy and said, "I think they slept through the night. I can't remember waking up!"
Now you are changing almost daily. I am in awe as I watch you discover new things, including each other. One day I was in the kitchen making lunch and all of a sudden I heard both of you giggling away. I peeked into the playroom and you were both rustling a magazine and cackling. It is such a joy to watch you, a brother and a sister, develop your bond. I think a lot about your future, but mostly I hope and pray that you will always love each other and make each other laugh as you do right now.
Alex -- for the first four months of your life you NEVER smiled. I kept asking the doctor what was wrong. I was so sad about it. You were skittish and the slightest thing could cause your lip to pout and the tears to flow. You have transformed into the silliest little boy EVER. Daddy gets you started and you can't stop laughing. We make faces and noises and you smile the brightest toothless grin. You love the MOOOOOOOOOOO a cow makes, you race across the floor whenever daddy chases you, you love to bounce -- especially with Daddy and Grandpa. You are a joy to watch every day and are changing so rapidly that I have to remind myself to take mental snapshots every day so I can remember these moments. Today you started talking to your hand and it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. You are momma's little boy and always will be, even when you're 30. G*d help your girlfriends!
Mia - for the first six months you were our easy baby. You rarely cried, smiled a lot, and giggled early and often. As you began to discover new things and your world got larger, you became quite a handful. You are the most inquisitive child. You love to stare at people (especially strangers), you've never met a mirror you didn't love and your curiosity is a joy to watch. You laugh loud and cry louder. You want the world to know you're here and make that message known loud and clear. You weren't a big talker, but did a lot of squealing and growling for the first 11 months. Momma was concerned, so she called the doctor who told me to try not to worry. She was right. You started to babble and now you rarely shut up. Hearing you say ma-ma-ma-ma-ma was an amazing joy and you even did it for the first time on Mother's Day.
I am the luckiest Mommy in the world. You two are the most beautiful, curious, playful, healthy and easy children. A part of me is sad that the year is over, but the amazing experiences yet to come make me the happiest Mommy in the world. I am so lucky.
I love you,